In the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory, there is no section on sleep. Perhaps there should be.


Sleeping is probably the biggest point of contention in our marriage:

K needs 8-9 hours. I need about 6-7.

She can sleep anywhere, any time, any place. I toss and turn until I eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and toss and turn. Which, of course, keeps her awake and annoyed.

She loves to nap, if she gets the chance. I am rarely able to nap.

She likes a nice soft bed. I like a firm supportive mattress.

Having children has only made the situation worse. Our daughters, A and B, are complete opposites and their sleep schedules are no different. When they were babies they slept in shifts. A could stay up until the wee hours of the night, while B was up at the crack of dawn. They also had an amazing ability to wake each other up from naps. Usually perfectly timed to occur just when K was falling asleep herself.

Just like our house. Except for the saxophone.

Just like our house. Except for the saxophone.

This is a big reason why we have only two children. Seriously. We are certain a child “C” would take the final shift.

This morning shows how we all work together to keep K awake. K had planned to take the children to a concert in the morning, so she didn’t have to get up quite so early to take them to school. This was going to be her day to sleep in. B came in at 5:00 because she was cold.  This woke me up. Because I had been sleeping for 7 hours, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I got up at 6:15, expecting to surprise K with coffee when her alarm went off, forgetting that she was supposed to be sleeping in. K tried to go back to sleep. But by now A was up (which she NEVER does—we have to D-R-A-G her out of bed every other morning) and decided to turn on the TV L-O-U-D and laugh even LOUDER, which woke K up for good.

So much for sleeping in.

What this means is that K will be irritable for most of the day unless she is fortunate enough to be able to get a nap. And the phrase “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” very much applies at our house.

So, has anybody else had this problem? How were you able to solve it?


We’ve tried separate bedrooms. Neither one of us slept well. Should we go the route of the 50’s TV show couple?

Anyone have any ideas?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s