I often get ideas of blog posts from twitter. Like this tweet from Lauren Dubinsky.
It has been said that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s fear.
Yet how many people avoid love out of fear? How many people don’t look for something more because they are afraid of “ruining the friendship”?
This is because there is no such thing as risk-free love. Love is always a gamble. Love is always a risk. Because love involves giving yourself fully to another person. It involves being vulnerable. It involves being open.
Vulnerability always carries risks.
But we are made to love. We are made to give ourselves to others. We are made to receive love. And when we close ourselves off out of fear, we can starve ourselves from the intimacy we need.
Love is risky, but it is often riskier not to love.
Or as writer Anais Nin once wrote: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
My relationship with K started with a gamble. We met took a class together in college. Our professor was late the first day, so we had a chance to talk with each other. We talked again after class—for nearly an hour.
We became good friends, but she was still with her high-school boyfriend, who was going to another college. But we kept spending time together. Lots of time together.
But this was no way to live. I was crazy about a girl who had a boyfriend. She was crazy about this boy she had just met.
So we gambled. We took a chance. I gambled that she would choose me. She gambled that what I was offering was better than what she had.
We went “all in”. We risked everything. And we won.
And we made out lots.
And it worked out pretty well.
“If you gamble everything for love, you’re going to be alright.”